I've been sat here thinking this morning about how people get to where they are in life...like were they born into the life they lead or were they incredibly lucky to get where they are today???
If I could do anything with my life I would move to New York (I love that city) and live my life out helping people in some way...whether that be by being someone's PA, working for a charity, being a counsellor etc...I am an organiser, I love to help people so if I could do anything then that would be it...I would love to also have an online business doing something (not sure what) so I could work from wherever I am in the world...that would give me the flexibility to travel and see the world...I hate being so static in life, I hate that my job ties me to where I live and ties me to how much of the world I can see...
I think because I don't have much else to do that my mind is working overtime...it's good thinking and having internal debates with yourself though :0) I think that's the way that ideas and future plans are formed...I'm getting itchy feet again that's all, in my whole life I have never sat still for so long and it pains me! I have always been on the move, going to new places and living in new places! That's the whole reason I have so many friends scattered all over the place and I love that :0) once my knee is sorted I think I will be off, visiting friends in far flung places and enjoying life. The past 3 or so years I haven't truly been me...it's time to rectify that!!!
My heart is in Lowestoft, it truly is! My family and best friends are here. I love my job, it gives me proper job satisfaction for the first time ever...but there's something niggling me and I don't know what it is...I loved psychology at A-Level, I should've pursued this as a career instead of following my Art & Design roots! After all, where did that get me??? A photography degree that I can't even bear to acknowledge...what a waste of my time I guess! However on the flip side at least I have a degree that I can be proud of :0)...as you can tell there is a conflict of opinion within myself when it comes to my previous studies!
So I guess my next move is to figure out what I want to do...I think if I do anything I will do a home study course! The reason being for this is that I can't really afford to not be working, I wish I'd studied for a better degree when I had the option to but hey I suppose I am just going to have to deal with previous life choices and find a way to be doing exactly what I am happy with! I hate battling with myself, I wish I knew what path to take to be truly happy in life. Truth is I have never known exactly what I want to do in life, I've kinda always bumbled along hoping for the best. Now I realise I should've worked hard from the word go ~ followed my passion and not stopped! I should've never become disappointed when an experience didn't go the way I expected. I should've picked myself up the moment I came back off that cruise ship & not just settled for any old job (which is what I did do!)...and because I did that I will always feel slightly disappointed in myself and know that I could've done better!
The next difficult step is actually working out the best route to take...& not wasting any money or time on something that may not get me anywhere!...that's the scary bit...right???
BRING IT ON!!!
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